So was kommt von so was - One thing causes the other

Ursprüngliche Gründe

Teil 3: stellochuapetz Jones: Auf der Suche nach dem verlorenen NEIN

…Ja natürlich…das mach ich gerne…aber klar…wenn Sie meinen…Entschuldigung.

Und das sind nur einige "unterwürfige" Floskeln aus meinem ehemaligen und heuchlerischen  Berufsleben. Heuchlerisch, weil ich es mir schon heute mit 48 glücklicherweise leisten kann, nur noch Privatperson zu sein und NEIN sagen kann, wenn ich NEIN meine. Ich sage Nein zu aufgeblasenen, affektierten Wichtigtuern, Nein zu falschen Freunden und Nein zu Menschen und Dingen, die mir meine Nerven rauben. Dabei ist es ein Hochgefühl zu sehen, wie so einigen Leuten, die mich noch als besonders zuvorkommenden und Ja sagenden Menschen kennen, die Gesichtszüge entgleiten, wenn ich heute strikt opponiere.

Das Neinsagen ist anfangs eine schwierige Übung, denn gerade im Berufsleben ist ein Nein oft mit gewissem Regress behaftet: Stellt Dir vor, der Chef oder eine andere wichtige Person möchte, dass Du etwas Bestimmtes tust, was Dir allerdings gegen den Strich geht. Du sagst Nein dazu, und Deine einzige Begründung ist, dass Du es einfach nicht möchtest oder keine Lust darauf hast.

Das gängige Prinzip, dass, je mehr Dich ein Chef oder ein Familienoberhaupt braucht, desto mehr darfst Du Neinsagen, oder im umgekehrten Fall musst Du die Fresse halten, dieses Prinzip betrachte ich heute als freche Nötigung oder gar als gesellschaftliche "Zuhälterei". Ich meine, wem ich wirklich wichtig bin, der mag mich auch mit einem Nein.

Nun, im Gegensatz zu den Anfängen, wo ich beim Neinsagen noch recht bockig war, kann ich ein Nein heute auch freundlich vermitteln; als Harmonie schätzender Mensch mag ich nun mal keine unnötigen Spannungen.

Generell kann man sich über meine Meinung zu diesem Thema durchaus streiten, aber eines steht objektiv fest: 40 Jahre langes Jasagen und ducken hat mich letztendlich krank gemacht. Jahrzehntelanges, gehorsames Nicken gegenüber den Eltern, gegenüber den Chefs, gegenüber Kunden kann tatsächlich krank machen, denn:

So was kommt von so was.    





Original reasons


Part 3: Stellochuapetz Jones: The Search for the lost NO

Yes ... of course ... I'll be happy ... but clearly ... you are right ... sorry.

And these are just some "submissive" and hypocritical phrases of my former professional life. Hypocritical, because I can not afford me today with 48 fortunately, only to be a private person and can say NO when I mean NO. I say no to inflated, pompous affectation, no to false friends and no to people and things that break my balls. It is a great feeling to see how peoples faces who still know me as particularly courteous guy and saying Yes, change the color when I strictly take an oppositional part today.

Saying no is the beginning of a difficult exercise, because especially in the occupational life No one is often fraught with some recourse: If you are in front of the boss or another important person wants you to do something, but what you are going against the grain. You say no to it, and your only reason is that you just do not want or you are not in the mood.

The common principle that, the more a chief or head of a family needs You, the more You are allowed to say No, or vice-versa you have to shut up, I consider this principle today as naughty as social coercion or even "pimping". I mean, to whom I really matter who likes me with also with a No.

Well, in contrast to the beginning where I was quite stubborn when saying no, I can also provide a friendly No today, because as harmony underestimated man I do not like unnecessary tensions.

Probably you will not like my opinion on this subject, but one thing is objectively: 40 years long affirmation and too many agreements made me sick. Decades, obedient nod towards parents, towards the chiefs, to customers can actually make you sick, because:

One thing causes the other.




13.8.13 02:08, kommentieren


One thing causes the other

Original reasons
Part 1: Where and what would I be if ...

And just today, I wonder what and where I would be today if my Italian father (born in 1928) in the period of 2 World War II in Germany would have been treated badly. My father was a musician and played the accordion. Even in his youth, he earned his money with the music and so it was that he set up in Germany in the early 1940s. He hoofed it as a fourteen-year-old in Germany around wherever it was to make something with the light music. He landed among others in a German prison camp somewhere in Bavaria, there to entertain the officers and guards with his music.

I do not necessarily handle this story as a political matter, but rather I would like to describe the life of my father at that time in Germany for the actual start because of my own life as a German in Germany. At that time it was my father a lot better than many other little Italians. In the prison camp he had a warm room, and plenty good to eat, and the German soldiers admired his music art. He got gifts, gratuities and recognition.

Well, it could have turned out quite differently: If Mussolini was not an ally of the Germans at that time, my father might also come into this German camp, but not a favorite of the soldiers but possibly even as a prisoner, and with great suffering. But all this is only the pre-story ...

My father then went back sometime in his native Italy and then had more music engagements with orchestras in many European countries - and after the war, among other things back in Germany. Meanwhile, he met twenty-three on tour in Switzerland show an Austrian dancer - just my mom - to know and love. They married and eventually landed back in Germany ... and stayed.

So my parents remained in Germany because my father had very good memories of this land, yes, and that is the reason why I'm not Italian, Austrian, French, Belgian or Swedish. I am a German European, and that's a good thing. After all, here I have my wife, so know my great love. Here I had a fun school, an illustrious youth, I have a "regular" job, and I have no fear for the future. Fear for the future? Well, I think so at times with the Europeans in Greece, Spain, Portugal or Italy.

So if everything would have been different with me, maybe I would be today in Italy or France also as a traveling musician, perhaps as a cook or a vegetable seller? Would I then say "Grazie" or "Merci" instead of "Danke"? Would I have a happy marriage, too?

Anyway, one thing causes the other…

12.8.13 06:00, kommentieren